My delicious poop for $80 a load! NEW WAIT TIME: 3 weeks before shipping due to demand. Your order will be mailed in the order it was received (via confirmation from the site) 🙂 Pay now to get in line! **MESSAGE ME** if you simply *have* to have either a firm or soft turd, along with your order number, and I’ll try my best 🙂 Poop comes out how it does!
You’re just dying for a load of my shit, aren’t you? 😉 Well now you can have some! My poop will be mailed vacuum sealed and in plain packaging, completely discreet!
**WANT EXPRESS OVERNIGHT SHIPPING?**
(Shipping is charged per order, not per item! Order will ship overnight after dropped off at the post office 🙂 US BUYERS ONLY!
1) Add the shippable(s) to your cart, which will automatically add $5 towards shipping (there is no separate US express shipping option to choose from at checkout itself–this is due to website coding restrictions)
2) Go to the Custom Video page, write in the script box that you’re paying $25 for overnight shipping (bringing the shipping total to $30)
3) Add the payment to your cart, then viola! 🙂 Ready when you are!
**IF YOU WANT A VIDEO of me shitting out the turd I send you, you can order a custom video, minimum 10 min for $70. Check my “Custom Video” page for rates/info! If you ask for a custom video of your poop, you’ll get what I poop during the shoot. I always try to have big, firm poops, but variation happens**
If you have any questions shoot me a PM! If you’re an international buyer let’s see if we can work something out 😉
About me: I’m STD/HIV/parasite free (yes, I got tested before selling my poo!) and eat a mostly organic, non-vegetarian diet with lots of probiotics 🙂
Please note: I *always* get requests for my “biggest” poop… SO! 🙂 Let me be up front and just say that I’m always trying to make sure I produce big, nice turds, but it’s not always something I can control, and I don’t hold my shit to make the load bigger–it’s extremely painful for me, I’m also in demand, and I just can’t. I can easily avoid mailing wet/soft/small poop but I can’t “custom make” your load, even less so if you want the shit I shat for you in a custom video. I shit every day, so if you’re pleased with the size and quality of my poop from the way it looks in my vids/thumbnails, then you’re good! 🙂 If you REALLY want extra poop, then buy two loads!
PRO-TIP! It’s summer and it’s HOT, so when your treats arrive in the mail, throw them in the fridge/freezer for a while before taking them out of the vacuum seal package, then enjoy!
HEALTH DISCLAIMER: While healthy poop can be used for life-saving medical treatments (such as for Fecal Microbiota Transplants) poop is still poop 🙂 And I like to do my extreme kinking on the informed side. So here’s a little bit about me: I’m STD/HIV/HEP/parasite free (yes, I got tested before selling my poo, and get annual testing! Am currently in a monogamous relationship and we’ve both been tested and are clear) I also eat a mostly organic, non-vegetarian diet with lots of veggies and probiotics 🙂
Please note that while I’ve done my part to make sure that eating and playing with my poop falls in the realm of reasonably safe (and my years of good track record don’t hurt! Hundreds of people have enjoyed my shit with no issues) that *no* sex act is 100% risk free, and that includes poop play 🙂
Some general precautions include freezing poop when you’re not enjoying it, and DO NOT taste/eat poop in general when you have any cuts/sores in or around your mouth (don’t floss 12 hours before/after eating poo for this reason) or smear if you have *any* nicks, cuts or scrapes on your body to avoid possible infection (same as when you’re gardening in the dirt!) Also, playing with anyone else’s poop besides your own when you have a compromised immune system is not recommended as it increases risk overall 🙂 And as for hygiene, please make sure to soap up thoroughly afterwards, spray your tub/shower with a water/bleach solution after when you clean up, and use lots of mouth-wash! Pro tip: Lavender and mint soaps help mask the smell <3 Be safe, sane, and enjoy!